For my Grandmother

She grew up as an only child. The only sibling she had was born years before she was and only lived an hour or two. Her playmates were her cousins and she envied their big families. She told me once that someone advised her not to have a family right away after she got married, so that she would have some time with her husband. She didn't listen.

She had been a beautiful young woman. She had dated quite a bit for a young lady who married at the age of 16. She had my father at 17 and a baby every two years thereafter until she had six children. At the sixth child (my aunt Edie) she paused for about 5 years and then had two more, again two years apart. The remarkable thing is that the doctor told her she shouldn't try to have anymore children after my father. She obviously didn't listen.

But she was worth listening to. Grandaddy died when I was six. I remember him being a very light-hearted sort of person. I always loved to stay at their house. Even after he died I loved to go to Grandma's. I remember her telling me one night when I was scared and couldn't sleep (I must have been about 8), that I shouldn't be afraid. She then showed me Psalms 4:8--"I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety." I have since remembered that verse so many times when I was scared or unsure. What a precious treasure to know that when I needed reassurance, Grandma taught me to turn to the Bible!

From an early age I could sit and talk with Grandma for hours. We never ran out of anything to talk about. I rarely agreed with her political views, but I always understood that her beliefs came from a pure heart.

She adored babies. She knew so much about them. Shortly after Laney was born, she showed up at my mother's one Sunday afternoon, just hoping to catch us there so she could hold the baby. It's one of the things I'll always treasure, that Laney was the youngest great-grandchild when Grandma died.

She had a way of loving a person so that they really felt loved. She didn't have to tell you she loved you, but she did. I was one of 20 grandchildren--I always felt like I was special. Fact is, we all did. She was that kind of person. She knew how to love people.

It's been almost a year now since we lost Grandma. She broke her hip and never recovered. She had remarried my senior year in high school and her husband stayed by her side to the very end. When we buried her next to my Grandfather, it was like he gave her back to him. It was a sweet transition, one I'll never forget.

I miss her and think of her every day. Her advice, and her love follow me even now. I hope that when I come to the end of my life, I can leave the kind of legacy she has.

I've been through about 10 topics today . . .

I'm not landing on anything. However, I am tired of the controversy I'm seeing on a lot of other blogs, so I'm going to try to steer clear of politics and religion. This means I probably won't have any comments on this one, but I can handle that.

Instead, a view of my life this week--

My husband (for his Father's Day present) finally gathered the last piece of the puzzle needed to change the cam in his truck. So, early Saturday morning we struck out for his brother's house to get started on the project. He wanted to start Friday night but I made him wait because we already had plans.

He worked all day Saturday, all day Sunday, Monday evening after work, and Tuesday evening after work. It was running fine yesterday, but today he calls me and it broke down at lunch. I'm still waiting to hear whether or not I need to pick him up from work today and what the garage he took it to is going to charge us.

This garage bill is a very annoying thing to me. My husband believes that no matter how hard we work to get ahead financially, the light at the end of the tunnel is always a train. I'm starting to agree with him. Let me say in regard to this though, we have everything we need and I'm thankful. The two healthy little girls that sleep down the hall from us are proof enough that we are blessed.

Speaking of my little miracles--Marley is steady on the path to becoming a potty trained individual. I'm very proud. When I think about this I always wonder, "what was I like to potty train?" I know my parents trained me early because I don't remember anything about it. However, when I talk to my mother about Marley's progress she always says, "Well, she's not even 2 1/2 yet." I know Mom is trying to keep me from losing my patience, but I thought that's about when everyone gets potty trained. I have a nephew who started training at 18 months (he did reasonably okay) and a neice who didn't train until she was nearly 3 years old (she did marvelously). So I figure 2 1/2 is about the right time to really push this and it's starting to click.

Last night while I was washing dishes, Marley kept bringing me toys that needed baths. It started with her plastic dinosaur and just grew from there. After a little bit, I had a whole sinkful of plastic toys. It's very interesting having a little kid around. It reminded me of how my mother used to complain that Grandma would clean out her refrigerator anytime you washed dishes at her house. You'd stand there, washing and washing and washing, thinking you were almost through and then random bowls would start to appear. Last, you'd have to wash the scrap bowl after Grandaddy took out the scraps.

Laney finally slept through the night for once this week. Night before last I didn't know what I was going to do with her. I could lay her down thinking she was fast asleep, crawl into bed, and shut my eyes, only to open them immediatly at the sound of her cries. I stumbled through the maze of small toys to get to her room (without injury) and soothed her again. But it was like the shampoo label--Lather, rinse, repeat.

I think I could sleep better if the fan in our room didn't always sound like a baby faintly crying down the hall. I jump up about once a night and walk about five steps from our bedroom door only to realize it's just my imagination. I know Lewis thinks I've lost my mind.

My parents are in Nashville for the SBC. They asked Dwayne to feed the cat and pick the squash. He called to offer me some squash today, but I forgot to go by and get it at lunch. I'll try to pick it up this afternoon if I don't have to go get Lewis from work. Then I'll fry some tonight! YUMMMM!

There's my life this week. Hope everyone out there's having a good one.

A Question

My blog is now linked through several other blogs. I have not yet developed the technology to acheive linking other blogs to mine. When I asked my brother how to accomplish this, he says he just asks his wife. Since I don't have a wife--only a husband who is less computer-savvy than I am--I was wondering if someone could help me.

Thanks in advance.

What's Missing from Church?

What's missing from our churches these days? I hear it every day, everywhere, all the time. People are bemoaning the fact that our churches are not growing. There is no spirit in them. There is no life. No fire. I have only one answer, the one thing missing from MOST churches today is God.

I work in a church on a daily basis. I attend a church (a different one) on a weekly basis. I believe the Bible and I love the Lord. So I am heartbroken to say that what is missing, what we need most, is God's presence in our churches.

Why is He not there anymore? We quit inviting Him a long time ago. Christians got caught up in the packaging. We want catchy hymns or praise songs. We want the flowers to look "just so." We want to sit still and quiet and never say, "Amen." Or we want to say, "Amen" and make someone else feel that they should have. We want to have ceremonies to honor our former pastors, our youth and those who have worked with the G. A.'s. We want to make sure our ministers are paid handsomely and told often how appreciated they are for their service. We want to start an early service and cancel a late one. We want to keep up with what other churches are doing. We want to have programs for our children and youth and senior adults so they can be busy. I hear so much of these plans and activities and methods, but rarely do I notice people saying, "I just want to know God better" or "I just want to praise Him."

God wants to bless our churches. God loves our churches and wants them to grow. But so much of our focus right now is on ourselves or our children that we don't focus on Him. Anytime you hear someone say, "If I don't do this, no one will," perhaps it's something that shouldn't take place at all. Do we prayerfully consider what curriculum we will follow? Or are we just operating out of habit? Do we have R. A.'s because we always have had R. A.'s? Or because God wants us to have R. A.'s?

We should not have church for church's sake. Whatever the church does should be for God's glory, not for the sake of anyone else. Until we recognize that, we will be waiting for an awakening that will never come. Church should not be something to keep us occupied. It should exist to allow God to occupy us!

"If my people . . . "

Now for a Poem

The river flowed sure & strong & deep & fast
Throughout the valley, around the bend until the ocean it met at last.
It's tributaries fed it well along its way-each one unique
The trees bending along each bank, nodding with breezes their praise to speak.
Never a falter in its course, never a moment of doubt or fear,
Never a day when the water shrank at the sound of footsteps drawing near.
But confidence and surity paled the day the mighty builders came.
Building a dam strong & sure--leaving the river never the same.
So we travel life's course in steady stream finding nothing barring the path.
Happily flowing and following our dreams, ignoring all obstacles--daring to laugh.
Until the day we wake to find an impenetrable object blocking the way
Pooling our might against its strength, bidding us always to stop & stay.
So it is with the unfulfilled dream, with loss of hope and passage of years
We rush at the wall--roar at it--yet, all that remains is a pool of tears.

The War

It is interesting to me to see how strongly people feel about the War in Iraq. Let me start by saying that the troops that are involved in this conflict are truly heroes. We should thank God every day that they are willing to fight for us, whether they agree with the reasons or not. Now that I have said that, I want to say a few things about why I believe this war is justified.

First of all, America is a precious country. Nowhere else on earth are there so many ideas and is there so much freedom of expression. This blog is proof that whether or not you have something to say, you have the room to say it. We have alot of freedoms here that others do not enjoy. Therefore, I believe that we should do everything in our power to protect that freedom.

Saddam may not have had a gun to our heads literally, but give him time. I hear alot of people screaming about how wrong the President was to bring us into this, but I don't hear anybody trying to tell me what a good guy Saddam Hussein really is. They didn't find any WMD's. So what! Can you honestly tell me you believe he wouldn't nuke us on a whim? Even if he didn't have any of those weapons, he did evil things to his own people. Do we really believe he wouldn't do his best to annihilate us if given the chance? Saddam would have invaded this country in a heartbeat if he thought he could win. Then where would be?

Now, I know that we can't go to war with every country that dislikes us. But in this situation, we were also hoping to liberate some of the people Saddam was oppressing. We also needed to clean up what we didn't finish in the first war. If Saddam had done what he was supposed to we wouldn't have gone there. But he ignored the rules. If I tell my two-year-old that I'm going to to punish her if she does a particular thing, I better follow through or she will take advantage of me. This is the same equation. If you don't follow the rules, you're gonna get spanked.

Let's look at this objectively. The Bush-haters out there tell us that the President sold us a lie. That there never were any WMD's and that our troops are sacrificing their lives because Bush has some reason for needing a war. If we had not gone to war, and Saddam had attacked us, I guess that would be President Bush's fault too.

Why do they think Bush needs this war so badly? It's not making him more popular. From where I stand, he has fallen under far more harsh criticism due to this than anything else he has done.

It's also about time to show the world that America is not going to put up with just anything. We were attacked on 9/11 but we need to show the world that we're not going to lay down and die. Fighting the war in Iraq showed the world that if you're going to come at us, "you'd better have your mess in a pile" (that's quoting my brother).

What amazes me is how long we waited to go to war. If Bush was really such a hot-head about this thing we wouldn't have ridden the fence for six months before we actually engaged. People don't remember that part of it, but I do. I was expecting my first child then and I remember wondering every day when war would come and what it would mean. People that encouraged Bush to wait then are now the same ones wanting to pull out of Iraq before the time is right. They are the same people who will blame Bush if things fall apart over there in six months.

For once, it would sure be nice for people to trust the elected leader of our country and stop trying to find any excuse they can to call him a liar.