Terrific Twos . . . Impossible Threes

Whoever said that two-year- olds were difficult to deal with never met mine. Since her second birthday, she has turned into an absolute joy. It's the three-year-old that is driving us crazy.

Most babies during their first year will go through a kind of honeymoon period, where they are just absolutely a blast to play with and look after. Laney was no different. In fact, I'd say that from the time she was about 4 months old until she was about 18 months, she was wonderful to be around. She was not lacking any of the stubborn nuances of her personality, she was just really happy and easy to play with. I took this as a reward for suffering through the first few months of her life, when all she did was cry.

Then, at about 18 months, she became very difficult. She's very active and stubborn. Put those two things together and you get an almost unstoppable force. Well, I'm just stubborn enough try to be the immovable object in her path. And you know what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object . . .

But recently, she has sprouted a new halo and wings. She says things that make you just gush like, "Daddy is my buddy," and "Mommy is my teethot." (That's 'sweeheart'--What? You don't speak two-year-old?) She will sit and look at a book by herself for minutes at a time. Most recently, I have been reading Mr. Brown Can Moo to her with her trying to imitate every sound. These are priceless moments.

IF--if they weren't interrupted by the almost constant questions, complaints and crying offered by her sister. I love my Marley immensely. She is an extremely bright child. But lately, she's just simply exhausting.

She cries at the least little thing. Not real crying, mind you--the extremely loud, fake kind of sobbing that drives you crazy. My friend Tim calls it "dry bawling." She does it just to get your attention and if you make her leave the room because she is crying (which I do) she just cries louder to make sure you can hear her.

She does things just to make a mess or to make you mad. She will go and do the very thing that you tell her not to do and when you discipline her for it, she acts like you've wronged her.

Half the time she wants to do everything for herself and the other half of the time she wants you do everything for her. Forget about asking her to pick up her toys or help you clean up, she'll quickly tell you she wants you to do it. I'm doing my best not to fly apart at the seams when she tells me she doesn't want to do something.

In the midst of dealing with this difficult version of my once very sweet, compliant child are short glimpses of her former self. Yesterday, on the way home she starts telling me that she missed me and Daddy and Laney during the day. It was a great moment. But once we got home she immediately started snatching toys away from Laney, ignoring everything I told her and getting on Lewis' nerves by crying almost all night. I guess right now, this is the way she shows love.

I know it's a stage. And I know we'll get through it and be fine. This is just the kind of test that proves unconditional love. Because as difficult as Marley was last night, I still wanted to hold and cuddle her until she fell asleep. She wouldn't let me, mind you, but I wanted to.

Tonight the girls are going to spend the night at my mother's house. I am convinced that I need it and that Marley needs it as well. Maybe Mama can straighten her out! Just kidding. However, I am sure that when I go to pick them up on Saturday, I will be greeted with excited hugs and be better able to handle the intensity of this great assignment I've been given--parenthood.

Movies

When I was a little girl, we rarely went to the movies. In fact, I can only remember three instances from my childhood when I went to a theater at all. I remember my grandmother taking all of her granddaughters to see Snow White when it was re-released in theaters. She did this because it was new when she was a small girl and she actually got to see it in a theater then. It left a lasting impression on her and she wanted to share that with us. I was about nine. I vaguely remember going to the theater to see a Bugs Bunny movie with a group from the daycare where I stayed during one summer. But the first and only movie my parents ever took me to see in the theater was Driving Miss Daisy. I think I was about twelve.

Perhaps this is why I have an almost unhealthy fascination with movies now. I especially love to go see a movie in the theater. When I was in college, one of my favorite things to do was to haul a bunch of friends up to the $1.50 theater about an hour away from school and see an almost ready for video movie.

I love everything about it. I love that the floors are sticky. I love that the sound is almost too loud to stand it. I love the greasy popcorn and the uncomfortable seats. There's just no way around it, I love the movies.

I get wrapped up in the stories. I can quote lines from some of my favorites. If I really like a movie, I can watch it about a hundred times and never get tired of it. However, there are only about three films I've seen in the theater more than once. I ended up seeing Dumb and Dumber twice because I was with a group of friends the second time who had not seen it and they insisted. I went to see Twister twice--once with my boyfriend, and once with my brother. (I'll talk about seeing movies with my brother in a minute).

I love for Lewis to take me to the movies. We've argued about it a couple of times because he says that going to the movies is expensive. But he knows how much I love going and so we've never completely sworn off movies altogether.

One of my favorite people to go see a movie with is my brother. When the Star Wars original trilogy was re-released in theaters. We went to see them together. Because the films were familiar we kept a hilarious running commentary going while we were watching them. We might have annoyed the people around us, but we sure had a good time. He made me go see The Fifth Element with him instead of the Nicholas Cage movie I wanted to see. It was the right decision. Lewis gets annoyed because I end up watching that particular movie over and over when I find it on one of the movie channels. The only time he ever got on my nerves was when we went to see Tomb Raider and he did his impression of Billy Bob Thornton as Carl in Slingblade the whole way through the movie. That movie was bad enough on its own.

I have been to the movies alone on a couple of occasions. It's a little weird when you first go and sit down, but once the movie starts, you don't notice so much. I saw Good Will Hunting this way.

I don't get to go nearly as often as I'd like. Especially since the children came along. But a couple of months ago, Lewis and I took Marley to see Chicken Little in the theater. It was her first movie in a theater and the dawn of a new day for Lewis and myself. Soon we will be able to go see movies as a family.

Knowing me, I'll probably take my kids to the movies too often and they'll end up hating them. You never can tell. But last Saturday morning, I awoke to Laney and Marley standing at my bedside. The first words from Laney's mouth were, "Let's otch a moomee. Come on."