Epiphany

Back in college I used to experience these moments in class when an idea (or a perspective) on something we were studying would just come to me out of the blue. These moments were like finding a missing puzzle piece or backing away and seeing the big picture. They were moments of extreme clarity for me--times when my focus was so intent on what I was doing that I felt euphoric. There's no kind of excitement I've found like having an idea that is unique and at the same time completely right.

And I had almost stopped having these moments.

What happened? Well, in short, life happened. A similar thing has happened to the poetry I used to write. There just isn't time to get that caught up in something anymore.

But recently, I've started having these moments in Sunday School (of all places to have an epiphany, right?).

The first one was while were studying Hannah several weeks ago. Now, there are lots of women who go through what Hannah went through. She wanted a baby. There's no force on earth stronger than baby-fever in an adult woman. Everywhere you go, you'll see a baby, or a pregnant woman, or a pregnant woman with a baby. I remember when I had baby-fever pretty badly and Lewis took me out to eat to cheer me up. He took me to Ryan's and we sat in a section surrounded by families with small children.

Anyway, back to Hannah, she wanted a baby--and to make matters worse, she's got to compete with Elkanah's other wife who not only has children but doesn't mind teasing Hannah about it. So, Hannah decides that she'll go on a hunger strike. (I could get into the stupidity of hunger strikes in general, but that's another day). Elkanah is very upset about this, because he loves Hannah. So he says to her one of the most foolish and conceited things he could say, "Aren't I better than 10 sons?" Hannah's reply to this is not printed in the KJV, but I can only imagine what she said back to him.

Well, finally Hannah takes this matter to the Lord. There's the first part of my epiphany. I wonder how long it took Hannah to realize that she needed to pray about this. By the time Eli sees her praying in the temple, she's simply distraught.

Yet, (here's the second part) after she prays the KJV says "So the woman went her way, and did eat, and her countenance was no more sad." (I Samuel 1:18b) Did you catch that? She felt better AFTER SHE PRAYED. It doesn't say that she only felt better after the prayer was answered. In fact, we really don't know anything about how long it took for her to see her prayer come to pass. We don't know how long she had worried about this before she prayed. We don't long how long God took to grant her request. We only know that He answered her prayer and that she didn't worry about it in the meanwhile.

Wow. How many times do we wait until the burden is crushing us before we take it to God? How many times do we take that burden to God and pray about it and then pick it right back up and worry over it still? Hannah didn't. I think she had peace. I think God gave her peace so she could deal with Elkanah's other wife picking on her. I also think it was that peace and trust in God that allowed her to keep her promise in the end and take Samuel to the temple.

After that, Hannah had three more sons and two daughters. But she had no way of knowing when she took Samuel to the temple to leave him there that she would have those children. She asked God for one baby and she got six. Is that a testament to how much God loves us or what? That happened to me too. I asked God for one baby and he gave me two. God wants to bless us when we will let Him.

My second epiphany happened yesterday. We have been studying Moses. Don't you just love Moses? The whole story is amazing. Moses was groomed for leadership from an early age. Do you think that when he was out tending sheep, he might have thought that up to then his life had been a waste? Do you think the murder he had committed plagued his conscience? I'm sure it did. But one day while he is mulling over his wasted years, he catches a glimpse of something burning in the distance and he goes to check it out--strolls up on holy ground and all of a sudden his life makes sense.

God tells him pick up a serpent (formerly his rod) and go do what he was born to do--LEAD. Moses has to begin with an act of faith though. He has to trust God in picking up the snake. Moses had to learn to trust that God would make that rod in his hand everything he needed it to be along the way. It was a lesson he would have to learn again and again.

I always wondered about the plagues on Egypt. They seem a little unnecessary, don't they? Really, couldn't God have just made Pharaoh real easy-going. But no, Pharaoh has to do things the hard way. The reality though (this is my second epiphany) is that the Israelites needed those plagues. They needed to see that God was leading Moses to lead them. They needed to know that Moses was not just a magician. Moses needed to learn that as long as God was leading him he could conquer whatever he was up against. Which is why when Moses came to the Red Sea, he didn't hestitate to stretch out his hand and watch what God was about to do.

The Israelites were always fickle. They would trust and praise God when things were going good, but they had some real doomsayers and worry-worts when things looked the least bit bad. If they had not seen the plagues and the miracles, they would have turned back to Egypt (they came pretty close in spite of the miracles). So, don't forget your miracle. Everybody has a few, if you know what to look for. They are God's way of seeing you through--to the next one.