Inventors Wanted

I have a few ideas for inventions and I need someone to help me develop some prototypes. Let me know if you can help me or know someone who can.

1. Lip Balm that comes when you call it. It seems inevitable that everytime I sit down to enjoy a little television after the girls have gone to bed, my lips will start to burn and feel dry. I don't want to get up to find my lip balm and I don't want my lips to hurt. So I feel there should be a real market for lip balm that will come to you when you need it. Surely, in this day of ever emerging technology, we can develop some kind of lip balm that senses when your lips are dry. After all, they have vacuum cleaners that work unattended now.

Of course, if you can figure out a way to make lip balm come to you, you probably could use that technology for virtually anything. People would never have to get up for anything ever again. We'd all be horribly fat, but extremely comfortable.

2. An Internet Site that will recognize portions of songs when they are hummed.
I love You Tube because I can pull up any song if I can remember the title or name of the artist. But sometimes, I can't remember either of that. All I can remember is the basic tune. So, I need something that will respond to me humming.

**Extra bonus points if you can identify this song is--Hm! Hmm-hm. Hm-mm-mm. Hmm-hm. Hmm-hm. Hm! Hmm-hm. Hm-mm-mm. Hmm-hm. Hmm-hm.

3. Bad breath alarm. This would some sort of device that would signal to anyone within a 20 foot range that the wearer has bad breath. It could say something like, "Do not approach without mints, gum or a gas-mask!" Since people with chronic bad-breath don't seem to ever realize it, maybe it could shock them a little until they brush their teeth, or apply some other breath-freshening tool.

4. Wrist Tissue Dispenser. For the child who constantly has a runny nose and feels compelled by some unseen evil force to drag their sleeve across their nose a million times a day. Dispenses a fresh tissue after each wipe.

5. Fanny-Pack Trash Can. Accessory to the wrist tissue dispenser. Also would cure "Here Mommy" syndrome. ("Here Mommy" Syndrome: A childhood affliction that causes children to hand you any variety of nastiness they can find. This tends to flare up at important formal social events and while you are driving. One of my children actually picked a dried booger and handed it to me while suffering from this. The worst part is that I didn't immediately identify what it was she had given me. That's been a couple of years ago and I'm still a little grossed out.)

6. Incriminating Gum. This gum would not only be flavorful, but would adhere to the face of anyone who attempted to dispose of it improperly alien-style. Will not stick to shoes, sidewalks, or the underside of desks, but almost impossible to remove from the face.

7. Bed-side Water Bottle. Just like the one in your guinea pig's cage, but for your five-year-old.

8. Washer-Dryer Combo. My dad and I have actually talked about developing a prototype for this one. I want a washing machine that will move the clothes immediately to the dryer unit when they are done washing. Why should I have to transfer them over? This also needs a sensor that will identify items of clothing that cannot be dried in the dryer and hang those up for you. It would also be great if it would sort light and dark colors, pick appropriate water temperatures, fold and put away or hang up the clothes when the dryer is done. Thanks.

9. Foot in Mouth Alarm. An alarm only you can hear that tells you when you are about to say something you will regret for the next 15 years. Also controls inappropriate laughter.

10. Auto-Blogger. Writes blog-posts for you based on your own uniquely weird ideas. For people who want to maintain a blog, and have great thoughts but somehow fail to actually write them.

11. Detachable Arm. Perfect for mothers, a fully functional arm that will carry things, open doors, find keys, and also be removable so you can find some way to get comfortable. Extendable, to reach children in the backseat. Available in addition to current pair of arms, or have current arms modified.

12. Impatient Idiot Puncher. I have wanted one of these on our doorbell at work for as long as we have had it. We have one person (she works here, in fact), that cannot wait for someone to open the door. She rings the doorbell repeatedly and does not wait a reasonable amount of time for someone to answer. I want a fist to punch her in the nose when she doesn't wait at least 30 seconds before ringing again.

If you know that any of these things already exist, please let me know where I can get them. I'm sure you probably have more ideas. Feel free to share. Together we can make a better world.