Terrific Twos . . . Impossible Threes

Whoever said that two-year- olds were difficult to deal with never met mine. Since her second birthday, she has turned into an absolute joy. It's the three-year-old that is driving us crazy.

Most babies during their first year will go through a kind of honeymoon period, where they are just absolutely a blast to play with and look after. Laney was no different. In fact, I'd say that from the time she was about 4 months old until she was about 18 months, she was wonderful to be around. She was not lacking any of the stubborn nuances of her personality, she was just really happy and easy to play with. I took this as a reward for suffering through the first few months of her life, when all she did was cry.

Then, at about 18 months, she became very difficult. She's very active and stubborn. Put those two things together and you get an almost unstoppable force. Well, I'm just stubborn enough try to be the immovable object in her path. And you know what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object . . .

But recently, she has sprouted a new halo and wings. She says things that make you just gush like, "Daddy is my buddy," and "Mommy is my teethot." (That's 'sweeheart'--What? You don't speak two-year-old?) She will sit and look at a book by herself for minutes at a time. Most recently, I have been reading Mr. Brown Can Moo to her with her trying to imitate every sound. These are priceless moments.

IF--if they weren't interrupted by the almost constant questions, complaints and crying offered by her sister. I love my Marley immensely. She is an extremely bright child. But lately, she's just simply exhausting.

She cries at the least little thing. Not real crying, mind you--the extremely loud, fake kind of sobbing that drives you crazy. My friend Tim calls it "dry bawling." She does it just to get your attention and if you make her leave the room because she is crying (which I do) she just cries louder to make sure you can hear her.

She does things just to make a mess or to make you mad. She will go and do the very thing that you tell her not to do and when you discipline her for it, she acts like you've wronged her.

Half the time she wants to do everything for herself and the other half of the time she wants you do everything for her. Forget about asking her to pick up her toys or help you clean up, she'll quickly tell you she wants you to do it. I'm doing my best not to fly apart at the seams when she tells me she doesn't want to do something.

In the midst of dealing with this difficult version of my once very sweet, compliant child are short glimpses of her former self. Yesterday, on the way home she starts telling me that she missed me and Daddy and Laney during the day. It was a great moment. But once we got home she immediately started snatching toys away from Laney, ignoring everything I told her and getting on Lewis' nerves by crying almost all night. I guess right now, this is the way she shows love.

I know it's a stage. And I know we'll get through it and be fine. This is just the kind of test that proves unconditional love. Because as difficult as Marley was last night, I still wanted to hold and cuddle her until she fell asleep. She wouldn't let me, mind you, but I wanted to.

Tonight the girls are going to spend the night at my mother's house. I am convinced that I need it and that Marley needs it as well. Maybe Mama can straighten her out! Just kidding. However, I am sure that when I go to pick them up on Saturday, I will be greeted with excited hugs and be better able to handle the intensity of this great assignment I've been given--parenthood.