I Need a Remote Control for my Life.

I'm serious. I need a rewind, fast-forward, pause, and especially a mute button for my life. Sometimes I even need tracking adjustment. It would also help to be able to adjust the camera angles a little sometimes. That way I could avoid mistakes like I'm about to tell you about.

Yesterday evening, my husband and I went to my father-in-laws for a visit. My kids love to visit their grandparents, so mostly the visit was for their benefit. However, my husband's step-grandfather, Finn, (who lives next door to my inlaws) is in the final stages of cancer, so we did check on him as well.

Well, we had eaten supper and we were relaxing on the porch. It was raining, so we were trying our best to keep the children from running around in the yuck. After Marley and Laney had eaten, I gave each of them a popsicle.

Here's where the trouble begins. Marley finished the first popsicle and wanted another. I gave her a second one, but when she asked for a third I said, "No." Well, a few minutes later, my brother-in-law drove up. His wife is a LPN and so she and my husband's aunt decided they would go in and try to change the bed for Finn and check his vitals, etc. They didn't want the children in there while they did this, so Hazel (that's Lewis' grandmother) gave my brother-in-law's kids a popsicle to keep them occupied. Well, Marley asked again and I said, "No." She cried and went to my father-in-law, who then gave her the rest of Laney's second popsicle. She walked by me with this popsicle and I took it from her. She, of course, burst into tears and ran back to my in-laws.

Now, here is what I did right about the situation. I said no and I stuck to it. I don't want Marley and Laney to be the kind of kids that don't understand what no means, or think that you only have to ask the right number of times to get a positive response. I also showed my father-in-law that when I tell my kids something, I expect it to stick, even if he thinks differently. I also set a limit for Marley that I felt was appropriate and expected others to understand that limit.

Here is what I did wrong and wish that I could rewind to--I shouldn't have taken the third popsicle away from Marley. I should have been easier on her because she is only two years old and none of what happened probably made any sense to her. Marley is too young to understand the principle of the matter, she only knows that I took the popsicle away from her. That must seem very mean of Mommy to take away what Pa-Pa gave her. If I could rewind to that moment I would re-live it differently.

I should have let her keep it, and addressed the real issue with my father-in-law later. But that moment is gone. The best I can really do now, is to remember that my perspective of things is not the only one in these situations. I need to look at stuff like this from all sides, especially Marley's side or Laney's side. How they perceive things should be a lot more important to me that it was last night.

The real kicker of all of this is--Even though Marley didn't understand what I did, she forgave me. She forgave me before I could even blink. Not ten minutes later I was taking her to the potty and I told her I was sorry I had to tell her no. She looked me right in the eye and said, "I love you, Mommy." and gave me a kiss. That's the beauty of children, without being taught, they know how to forgive.

I guess if you could pause at moments like those, it would be easier to remember to be more tender with these fragile little people.