Friday, January 06, 2006

Pondering the Chicken Nugget

It's Friday and I thought about doing a really serious post. But the fact is, when I post on something serious I usually can't stand the wait until I'm back where I can see my comments (not that I have that many comments lately). So instead, I thought I would pose a question (of little consequence) that has been on my mind lately.--"How come if you buy chicken nuggets from the fast-food establishment of your choice, the nuggets will be shaped like circles or boots?"

Circles I can understand. Circles are a standard shape. But boots? I'm sitting here eating a Chicken McNugget from McDonald's right now and it is shaped exactly like a Christmas stocking. Who developed this idea? Am I supposed to feel as if I'm eating a foot? I'm assuming that if I am supposed to feel as if I'm eating a foot that it is not a chicken's foot as chickens do not normally wear boots. So is it a human foot? Boy, that's just sick!

Maybe I'm not supposed to feel as if I'm eating the foot, but rather just the foot covering. But I would think that eating piece of deep-fried boot would be quite a bit less tender than the tasty morsels I'm enjoying right now.

Imagine the guy at the chicken nugget factory sitting there waiting to press the chicken into its assigned shape. I imagine a tool made much like a cookie-cutter to accomplish this. So there he sits days after day. Circle in one hand, boot in the other. Miles and miles of unpressed chicken rolling by. (Gee, that was a little depressing.)

I wonder if there is a certain ratio of circles to boots that the chicken people expect. Is it one circle for every boot, or two boots for every circle, or some other variation? Do they gauge production by two numbers? "Hey Joe, did you make more boots or circles today?"

Before Hardees was famous for their enormous burgers, they used to have chicken nuggets that were shaped like stars. I wonder if they still have those. Tyson Chicken offers frozen chicken nuggets in the shape of Veggie-Tales characters. Which is ingenious because the shapes they come in are patterned after Larry the Cucumber and Bob the Tomato--an oval and a circle! Wow!

Another thing, why don't they sell beef nuggets? Do beef nuggets even exist? What about pork nuggets? Why do the very names "beef nuggets" and "pork nuggets" sound a little nasty, while people on a daily basis order chicken nuggets without even flinching. How about "turkey nuggets?"

Don't you love that they offer you a choice of sauce with your nuggets too? It's like they're saying, "These aren't really all that good by themselves, but if you cover up the way they really taste--MMMMMMMMHHHHHHMMMMM!

Maybe if nuggets were made from free range chickens they wouldn't have a shape. Maybe that's where the whole "Chicken Strip" rage has come from lately.

Anyway, I hope that this will give you something to ponder, that is if you needed something. If you didn't, I'm sorry to give you one more thing. Have a nice weekend.

3 Comments:

Blogger Mark said...

Daffy, They are not boots. They are chicken shoes. Haven't you ever heard of chicken shoes?

There is a song:

First you make some home brew--eww,
From some chicken shoe-eww!
Chase it with some Mountain dew--eww."

4:58 PM  
Blogger tugboatcapn said...

They are supposed to be shaped like dirty socks. (in order to put the taste into an understandable context.)

If you want to try a product that will make you appreciate Chicken McNuggets, go to Burger King and try their "Chicken Fries."
(Don't eat the whole order, though...you miss enough work...)

As to the issue of the guy who makes his living holding the cookie cutters, I would imagine that the way that they get those shapes is that they have a large press with circular and dirty-sock shaped nozzles, and a cutter on it, through which the chicken paste is squirted, and sliced off to thickness. (Which is even more depressing to me than the "guy with the cookie cutters" idea...)

The strange thing is, as disgusting as Chicken McNuggets are, I still have to have some every now and then. I don't know why.

And little girls sure do love to dip 'em in that messy, sticky sauce and smear it all over their faces, hair, and new t-shirts, don't they?

3:53 PM  
Blogger Daffy76 said...

Yes, strangely enough I too have a mild addiction to McNuggets. It think they must be injecting them with some kind of addictive drug.

And as to the little girls, they usually ask for burgers, but when we do the go the nugget route, they usually just suck the sauce off of the same nugget over and over and over until we leave the restuarant.

Laney is actually mildy allergic to something in the Sweet'n'Sour sauce at McD's. It irritates her skin and until you wash it all off she will have a rash around her mouth.

5:31 AM  

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