Melancholy & The Infinite Sadness

For some reason, lately I have been plagued by occasional boughts of the blues. I'm not used to this in any way. I've always been a pretty happy person, unless going through a heartbreak of some kind. These episodes don't seem to have any rhyme or reason to them though. I'll just have a day every couple of weeks where I feel like a dark shadow is following me around. I do my best to snap out of it, but when I try, it seems that the shadow gets darker and I just have to wait it out.

I'm having one of those days today.

Laney has me worried. She went through a spell a couple of weeks ago where she was ill all the time when she was at home. I asked her daycare provider about it at that time and she said that Laney had been a little tempermental but that all in all they had not seen the kind of problem I had. Now, all of a sudden, she's an angel at home and cries and screams when I try to leave her at daycare. She's never done this before and I don't know why she would do it now.
It has me really concerned. This morning, for the first time since she was a baby I left the daycare in tears. I didn't want to leave her and she didn't want to be left. She was screaming and crying. I just feel so helpless. I don't know how to make it better for her.

A co-worker of mine jumped all over me first thing this morning because she missed a phone call yesterday afternoon. It seems, I left her son on hold for six minutes and just forgot to tell her about the call. I didn't mean for this to happen. She had gone to the bathroom and I knew she would be right back. But the other line rang several times while she was gone and I just forgot about it in the rush of things. I do my best to make sure she gets her calls, but I am human. She's mad and because she lives to be offended at someone, she'll carry this around for a few days.

And I would pick today of all days to pay the bills. Enough said.

But usually, these things would not bother me this way. Sure, they give me frustration, but for some reason there is an underlying sadness that goes beyond all of this. I feel like Eeyore.

Pray for me. I know I'll snap out of it, but I can tell this is going to be one long day.